


The Second One

by A_Graph_You_Look_At



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Feelings, M/M, Making Out, Pre-S2 Canon, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 05:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12742011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Graph_You_Look_At/pseuds/A_Graph_You_Look_At
Summary: “Do you not want to be in charge?  Or do you not want to have control?”  Magnus asks.  “There is a difference, Alexander.”





	The Second One

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in the hiatus between s1 and s2, so it doesn't really match up with canon in terms of where Magnus and Alec are at in their relationship. 
> 
> [Losin Control by Russ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_AmUXJbBzY) pairs with this fic exceptionally well

“Alec, darling, are you sure you want to stay here?  I won’t be mad or offended if you’d rather be at home right now.”  Alec sighed and closed his eyes.  

“Yes, Magnus.  I want to be  _ here _ .”  Alec doesn’t need to open his eyes to know what Magnus is about to say, so Alec cuts him off before he can start.  “Jace is gone.  He’s gone, and I’m aware of it every waking moment.  For one night, I’d like to  _ not _ be.”  He opens his eyes to look at Magnus, hoping to convey what he needs without words.  Magnus looks back at him with tenderness and sympathy, but not with the understanding Alec needs.

“I just-I’ve been on high alert for weeks.  Even before Jace left with Valentine.  I know what I can and can’t handle, Magnus.  And I’m reaching my limit.”  Alec takes a breath, reminding himself that saying these things out loud does not make him weak.   _ Honesty makes you stronger. _  “The worst thing I can do right now, for Jace or anyone else, is to break.  So I need a night of normal...-couple stuff.  Whatever the hell that is.  I-I need a full night’s rest.  I need time to myself to be with you.  And-”

Alec hesitates and finds his eyes avoiding Magnus’.  He’d gotten better at telling Magnus (and consequently Izzy and Lydia and, surprisingly, Clary) his feelings.  But this is something he’s still working on.  

He feels Magnus’ fingers on his chin, too light and tentative.  “You can tell me, Alec.  Tell me what you need.”  Magnus’ breath is warm this close, and Alec imagines he can taste Magnus’ mouth through the air between them.  Alec says, without hesitation:

“I need you to kiss me.”

Magnus smiles and the softness spreads to his eyes, almost soothing the worry there.  He leans closer to Alec to close the distance between their lips, but Alec already knows it isn't going to be right.  “Magnus,”  Alec stops him.

Alec doesn’t know how to say what he wants.  What he  _ needs _ .  He doesn’t have words.  “I just-...I don’t-”  Alec can feel Magnus looking at him with that unfathomable patience that both comforts Alec and pressures him.  Sometimes it feels like Magnus is too patient, too willing to follow Alec’s lead.

“Magnus, I can’t be in charge...all the time.”  The words feel stilted as they come out.  He feels accusatory like he’s blaming Magnus for being accommodating, but he doesn’t know how to even start telling Magnus how much he trusts him.  Around Magnus, Alec feels like he can let his guard down, can relax, can give up control.  But how can he say all of that in a way that makes Magnus  _ understand _ .  Alec doesn’t want to open his eyes, having realized they’ve slipped shut again rather than look at Magnus.  

When he does open his eyes, however, Magnus’ face has taken on a thoughtful expression.  Not judgemental, not offended, not hurt.  Alec feels a tightness in his chest loosen just a little.  

“Do you not want to be in charge?  Or do you not want to have control?”  Magnus asks.  “There is a difference, Alexander.”  Something about Magnus’ voice changes as he speaks; it becomes lower, slower, and Alec can’t help but let his gaze flicker down to Magnus’ lips.  He understands, on some base level, what the difference is, but he couldn’t put it into words if his life depended on it.  He just knows which one he needs.  

“The second one,” Alec breathes.  

It’s quiet in Magnus’ loft apart from the sounds of their breathing and the beginnings of a summer storm filtering in through the half open kitchen window.  He can feel his own heartbeat in his throat; he wants to feel Magnus’.  The idea of an extra heartbeat in his veins is odd and a little frightening but the sudden  _ need  _ he feels for that contact is what really scares him.  

He looks back at Magnus’ eyes, now flickering  between glamoured and natural, and sees the raw feeling in both of them.  “I trust you.”  It slips out before Alec has a chance to think about it.  When he  _ does _ think about it, all he can do is say it again.

“I trust you, Magnus.   I trust you, and I need you to kiss me, and I need you to be in control.”  Magnus’ eyes settle in his natural slit-pupiled cat eyes as Alec speaks.  There’s heat there, but also something akin to the patience Alec sees so often.  

“It’s okay, Alec.  I’ve got you.”  

When Magnus leans in again, Alec doesn’t stop him, and then Magnus’ mouth is on his, hot and wet and insistent.  Alec feels Magnus’ hands in his hair as he pushes the two of them further into the cushions of the couch, and Alec releases into Magnus’ touch.  Magnus’ tongue is firm against his, and he feels Magnus’ weight pressed into him, feels Magnus straddle his hips and tilt his head and maneuver their bodies.  Alec feels the tightness inside his chest fall away, replaced by the comforting weight of Magnus’ mouth and body on his.

Time passes, but all Alec is aware of is Magnus against him, holding him up in some fundamental way while pushing him down physically.  Magnus’ hands move from his hair to his chest to his neck, but his mouth never leaves Alec’s.  Each kiss is slow and heavy and lulls Alec deeper and deeper into the security he’d felt around Magnus from the moment they’d met.  Never before has he felt so intensely  _ safe _ .  

It doesn’t make any sense.  He should feel safest surrounded by the warriors he belongs next to.  He should feel safest when he is in control.  But the beautiful thing about Magnus on top of him, Magnus pushing without ever pulling, Magnus giving and never demanding that Alec take- Alec doesn’t have to think about it for it to feel right.  

Magnus’ hands find Alec’s face, start stroking his cheekbones and jaw, and the kisses become softer without losing their weight.  He feels Magnus pull away from his mouth and starts to slip his eyes open before Magnus’ lips brush against his forehead.  Alec lets himself sink further into the warmth of Magnus’ hands on his neck, Magnus’ weight on top of him.  

“Alec, I understand you don’t have words for this yet, and I know a vocabulary lesson is not what you want tonight,”  Alec feels his mouth lift a the corners.  “So I’ll keep it simple.  If you don’t feel comfortable, for any reason, you tell me no.  Nod if you understand.”  He nods.  

“Good.  Now I’m going to take care of you,” Magnus breathes against his ear.  

And Alec has never felt safer.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ doctorthetwitch  
> shoutout to the lovely tumblr message I got on another malec work of mine, Scorpion and the Frog, and the other great comments I've gotten recently. Tbh, they're why I'm finally posting this tonight.


End file.
